We should be starting school soon. We should have our shcedule send tomorrow (normally). I'm a little stress about this. We didn't manage to succeed all our classes last time even with our best effort so I'm scared of failing again. But also seeing the school psychologist and talking about this to her. I mean, I shouldn't she's there to help me manage my anxiety but there's still this feeling of shame I have about this. I still have some time before school start again to prepare myself. We've been switching a lot more than usual. I,m no longer always waking up in the morning. This has change since Angel appear but I thought it was just about managing the holiday, I didn't think this would last. We'll see how long this last. Even still, with all this switches, you would think they would start talking more in our private chatroom but nope! In general, pretty silent. I guess I should have expected that.
I saw how other people journal. I guess I should take inspiration from that (talk about not so important things and about current event). I do have difficulty talking about those things so nothing really happen in my days and I either don't remember it at all or I don't think it's inetresting enough to talk about. I'm not always up to news. I... haven't really left the house since our last holiday party. So I guess this is on me. We'll see if I ever do that
In other news, I started to watch more anime. I'm trying to find something else to watch until the ones I was currently wathcing come back. I'm still watching Blue Lock since it still gives episode. I can't wait for Chainsaw Man and Spy X Family to come back since they were my favorite to watch. I'm currently watching Sk8 (I can't really do the infinity symbole) since it seems to be a thing that would interest me. I'm also watching Nier:Automata since it got an anime adaption. I've never played Nier and I don't really much about it but I still wanted to give this anime a try. If I like it I,ll watch a let's play of the game.
Talking about games, We got a switch today! My brother bought a switch and let's us use it when we want. We have three game for now (A Mario compilation with Galaxy, Sunshine and 64, Mario Odesey and Pokemon Shield). So that will be fun. We'll probably buy Animal Crossing for us.
Not doing a good job updating our journal. So. We're not kicked out from school it seems (thanks FUCK) so we're fine for now. We have some new games we can play so that too is fun. Watching a lot of new anime here and there. Tho brain seems to really love chainsaw man and kept slipping introject from it at every little inconvenience it seems. I think I can finally relaxe a little
The beginning of the week was just me feeling like my life was falling apart. I don't know what's going to happen so I'm just in waiting to see. I've been having full doing rentry. Got to occupy my mind. I'm surprised we didn't split. Maybe I'm speaking too soon...
I got no clue who I am but oh well. We've been trying to write for a while for a school homework but we can't so we're taking a break. We only have to things to write and we'll be over with our semester. Let's go
Not much to say. We're almost done with this semester. I still have two presentation to do. I hope it's over soon. My legs are killing me right now
The univers personally hated us this week by making everything more difficult and stressful than necessary. Crying everyday and having anxiety attack. Someone is testing me and I'm tired
It was the anniversary of my aunt. I'm tired. There's still loud music playing. I can't wait to be home to sleep
Back from school. I woke up today with an intense pain in the leg. It lasted for a while but the mediaction made it less painful. Because of the medication, I had difficulty with my first class. I'm just glad to be home
Out the fast food. Leg pain. Very dissociated and tired. We're going to sleep when we get home
We lost all our electricity because of an accident. So now we're eating at a fast food
Short day today. We got the missing book we needed without problem. I ended up writing something today. I love writing but I haven't done it in a while. I'm happy to have forced myself to write a little. ADHD is a curse. Can't let you do things you love because of executive dysfonction. I wrote for 20 minutes. I'm proud of myself
I did our blood work. It went well. Ironicly it was the power of monster high that got us to do it. Let's hope something comes out of it
Long exam. We didn't do much today or at halloween. The miraculous episode going out are nice. It keeps me motivated with the draining week we're having. I'm not ready for tommorow
WE FINALLY FOUND THEM! We finaly have ou FRankie Stein doll! Finally a win
That moment when you snap out of dissociation and it feels like your FPs suddently increased
Everytime. Everytime I forget I exist. But anyway. We saw an horror movie, Scream. It was fun
We've been trying to hunt for a me doll the entire month. Walmart is having everyone but me so we're going to Toys R Us instead. Transphobia! Transphobia I say! Hopefuly this time we actually find something
It was a free day so I could stay home. There was an new episode of miraculous. French dub my beloved. It was very good. On bad news, apparently my childhood best friend was arrested. It sure was an inetresting day
I stayed the entire day home since we didn't have class today. I wanted to do homework but I'm still not doing it. Yesterday, we got a appoitnment for the psychologist of our school. It might help us. It will be next week so in November. Right now Venti is hanging with me. It's nice seeing him again. I wish we could hang out more often in co-con but getting them to front and staying co-con is a little difficult
Just finished an exam. We got news our blood work appointment was taken for next week. We just have to mentally prepare and get a strategy
Which is hard becuse. You know. Trauma
Right. So we'll have to prepare
I can't believe I don't front for so long only to come back in the middle of an exam :p
Can't control our switches
Leg pain all day and worsen after gym class
Leg hurts so bad today. We have a physical test tomorrow. I can only hope we will feel better tomorrow
Went looking for Frankie again. Got no luck. Every other dolls were there except for them. Also my sims game keep crashing recently and it's impossible to close when it does. I have to force my computer to close. It's so annoying
Today I woku up with an horrible pain on the side and leg pains but the side pain was so bad, it made me forget about it. It didn't leave until around 2:30 PM. We had an exam and a practice for introduction. The exam when better than I thought. I thought I was going to straight up fail. I finished it in time. A new alter has written with Philip the intro super fast so we got home a lot faster. I finisned our book for tomorrow so we will have no problem doing the exam
We're back from school. We had an exam. It was... huh. It wasn't super easy but not super hard either? It was just hard because we have memory issues so that makes everything hard. I also had to work with my team in the librabry. I hate school libraries. It makes me so uncomfortable. No problem with public ones, just school ones. I had some phantom pain which made me a little bit distress. It's being traumatize for you. But overall I'm fine
Finally out after a year. Man, I really came and dip immediatly haha! It might have been summer or fall when I last came? I don't really know it was late at night so I wasn't really supposed to be up long (but I did stay a little bit late because that would be boring). The problem with coming out rarely is that I don't know what I want to do. I'm bored but I don't really know what I like so I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm making myself a playlist which is harder than I thought. I don't really know where to start with that. Tho I've been listening to love love nightmare on repeat. It just has the good sound that makes the autism go wild. I'm going around looking at vocaloid song. We all want to front more but promising we will never makes it happen so who knows when I'll be back. Maybe next year? Who knows! I'm kind of happy to be back but I don't think I'll be here in front for long. Well anyway bebye!
No lcuk. Maybe next week. But mh dolls are there but there's just Clawdeen and Cleo. Now I'm just really hungry
I'm going to do some shopping which means I can get my Frankie doll! A little awkward since we have an introject of them
I don't know why but I wanted to make my first journal entry today even if nothing exceptional happened. I guess good news, I got pronouns now. I've been fronting a lot recently but it was mostly in class so couldn't really express myself like I want to. It's nice to be in a casual setting and just start to discover myself just a little. I haven't had the chance to speak with the others in the system yet. Not that I really know who to talk with. Maybe Frankie since sourcemate? But I'm not sure. I don't really know what my role is in this system. This system rarely works with role. MOst of us don't know what we're supposed to do nor does it do much to know anyway. I guess I'll use this free time to figure a little bit more about myself. Who knows? I might find something interesting.
Source uploaded the first episode so now I have better pfp to use for sp and pk. So that's pretty nice. Oh and we got a new monster high fictif. New Draculaura fictif. I guess we needed two. I'm not super attached to source but I do take interest in some part of it (mostly the discussions it makes) so I don't have many feelings about the new ones but Loria is nice I guess. They write well and do well for taken notes
For more info about today, our class was pretty relaxe. Mostly lots of info but it's fine. We have to finish our book and prepare for our exam on it tho. We ended up going home earlier than expected which GOOD since we started our period. It hurted a little at the beginning but we ate and take medication and it went well.
I've been hanging around the front a lot tho not really taking possesive front. I guess my protector side? I don't plan on completly going away. I want to stay here to help my system as best as possible. (are just stealing Alex host role/j)
I'm going to stop writing here. Let's not write a whole novel
We had a realtivly simple class. We were a little late for it. We only had to choose a date for an exam and see a video. I am on the bus and I'm almost at destination. Loria handle half of it. I only came here with Ben when we were already on the bus.
It was a total fail.
We didn't do our blood work because we got into a panic. This is wonderful, we need to do it all again
Headache. Waiting to be picked up. Though day but tomorrow will be worst. I want to take a nap
Class of today we watched a movie. After the movie we got really dissociated. I guess I got trigger front because it sort of reminded me of the reason I went dormant in winter of last year. The teacher was worried about us. I recentered myself with the 5 senses technique and did the work. Buggy joined me when I was finished
We said ''je t'aime'' to eachother
Yes. We finished eating and are now waiting in the zen zone. We'll see what we do from here.
Guess who didn't actually do anything? Let's hope I actually accomplish anything this week
I completly forgot it was voting day. I'm not ready
Appointment done! What I need to do today:
I don't have to do everything today but I need to do the first two absolutly. The appointment went well. We will see eachother again when we get the info about our chronic pain
I worked a lot on the blog. Not sure how well I did but it's a good start. It should be easier from now. But I'm having difficulty knowing how to start. I need to figure out how to write description. Welp, maybe later. I need to prep myself for my apppointment
Alright. So we're starting this blog today. I got no idea how this is going to work but we'll see. Hoepefully our interest on it will stay. Let's hope this work